I guess this lil space of mine have grown so much dust that there's no more space to have any inputs anymore. Haha! For once, like finally, let's revive this lil space of mine once again.

As you grow older, you feel more responsibility on your shoulder. I am not sure if I'm ready to face it all. What if it is all too much for me to take?

Just a quick update:

1. I've graduated. Haha! And I'm embarked on the career path already. I hope that I'll do well in what I'm doing.
2. Mus and I have reached our 4th year already. He's presently serving his NS. (I hope that I'll get married soon though. haha~)
3. And well, I'm still as short as ever. :)

random

Good morning to all the beloved people out there. I've been MIA-ing for too long huh? =P Busy, busy with work, totally flat by the time I reach home. Woots!

How has everybody been? OK? Doing well? Doing good? I miss my friends. I wish I have more time at hand to catch up with them.

My beloved Lil Misses, I miss all of u even though I just met up with u ladies a few days ago...Abduls, di mana kah kamu semua? Miss Sunshine, how have u been? Haiz~

I'm still taking time to get used to this working life. I'll get through it.

See you all some time soon! Till then, take care alrite? :)

Hellooooooooooooo

Hello earthlings! It's been a while hasn't it?

Yours truly have already entered the working world now. It's been almost a week.

If ever I think that I wanna have a career switch, I'd go into teaching. Coz APPARENTLY, I seem to have the teacher look. OK, that's beside the point.

I think, I think I miss spending time at Bukit Panjang. =(

j-koon

A good friend of mine once said, "I'm so jakun coz i've never been to joo koon". Baik ah!

For you, my budei,.....

I was never good with words, and have never been. I felt the impact now. I'm sorry to have wronged you, I'm sorry to have made u feel like u were the bad guy. I guess I was thinking of it sub-consciously, but over time, I stopped thinking that way already. You should stop thinking that I'm the angellic human being. It leaves me no room for mistakes at all, and when I do things that don't fit in the mould, you'd end up being more disappointed in me. I do have my flaws, and I do have my distorted thinking as well. I'm proud to have a friend who hold his morals upright. I truly am. I should get my emotions together. I know that crying over it won't help. Yes, I do know that we should talk over it like adults. I'm sorry if I had not given my 100% trust in you, which I guess I should have. I'm sorry to have disappointed u to think that I was that one good person in this world. I just want u to know, that I'm human afterall. Yes, I might be stubborn at times. But I really wished that we would stop quarrelling. I'm sorry if I had been bothering you and troubling you all this while.

I still want the friendship. I'm willing to work for it. I'm sorry for everything. How about you?

-ship gone wrong

I don't like virtual conversations at times. It causes too much of a misunderstanding. I'm at a loss. What did I do wrong? What did I say wrong? I'm sorry, and that's all I can say. If only, if only people should be less sensitive about things. I should be less sensitive as well. It doesn't help at all. Why must it always end up like that? I thought friends should know each other well enough. I guess we don't. And it upsets me to think that way. It's killing me. What am I supposed to do now? It makes me feel like I can't even say or feel anything. I wish I could scream out loud. I really wish I could. Why do I even bother to cry? Why? And I can't stop the tears from falling. Just because you think I might hate u, doesn't necessarily mean that I do. Why must you always think that what you think is right?

Sayang, I need u so badly right now. I really do. :'(

Free............

A free day that went past me just like that. Well, at least I got to spend it with my beloved girls, people whom I love whom I haven't had a lot of time to spend with since of late. =) I'm feeling really happy now. I love u girls, and I want to spend time with the whole bunch! Boo!

I miss the Love..........................................

sense and dollars

Different individuals have different perspectives and approach in looking at things. Am I the sort who will be unwilling to spend my money on less important stuffs when I have only a small amount of money left for myself? I guess that's when the conflict arise. I don't believe in happily spending my money and only to throw the thing away after. Then, I got told off for voicing my opinion. Haiz~

I want nice food. I want pizza, tulang, sushi, calamari rings..haha! and so much more..k dah..

woo hoo

The reality of the end of my academic life, and the start of the working life is starting to get to me. I don't think I'm ready for this. I'm scared. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what to do. This is what happens when you are in the education system for too long I guess. The thought of not being in the system scares the hell out of me. No room for mistakes. You'll be accountable to so many people. No more heck-care, carefree attitude. Sheesh~

It's been a long time since I got the chance to talk to a good friend of mine. He's been so busy nowadays. I think he was way freer when he was sailing, compared to now being in cadet school. My oh my. Take care dude! And come back home to Singapore in one piece so that we can catch up over coffee or something. I really see you once in a year I tell you. Heh!

When the Love is happy, it makes me happy and knowing that I'm happy, it makes him doubly happy. Haha! And it makes him happy knowing that he can share his happiness with me. Aww~ I love you Sayang! Can't wait for you to come back home. It somehow feels different when you were in BMT and compared to now. What's the difference? I'm not too sure though, maybe because I know you're safely here on the mainland with me? Heh~

It's a mad rush. Assignments are piling up. I have a feeling that this is the season of hyperventilating for me. Crap!

I'm going to miss out on another gathering..AGAIN...I suck...

Hyperventilate

It's about four weeks to exam. I can't belive it. Horror horror!!!! Buck up, Mardiana, buck up. It's your last sem, what are you doing??????? Tsk tsk tsk....

He's back in today. Sent him all the way to the doorstep of his camp. He forget to pass me something precious though. =( Too used to have his company everyday for the past 12 days or so. Now, it's back to the old times. Well, at least I know that he's on mainland! Haha!

Met friends whom I hardly saw on campus today! And my bag just had to throw a tantrum today, of all days. Haiya!

=(

To all those who have been reading my blog, no worries k? Me and Mus are doing fine. Haha! =) As happy as we can ever be!

He's going back to camp tml. =( It's so fast! The time flew past me. Gosh.

I miss a group of people specifically. I truly, terribly miss them.

*winkx*

Sometimes, one need not say much. What one has said long time ago will prove itself one day. Heh!

I don't even know whether to laugh or to cry or to be angry. I'm perplexed! Totally.

I'm glad that never have I once did all those as a girlfriend.

I'm proud to say that I've been good! =)

My December

Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

There seem to be rather contradicting, don't you think so?

If only

If only...If only there's more than 24hours in a day. If only.

If only I have more hands to juggle with everything around me. If only.

Lose yourself

I think I'm slowly losing grip of the things in my life. I don't know why.

Some things happen for a reason. While some happen due to negligences. While some happen purely due to stupidity.

If your face is in this entry, it just goes to show how much u're being missed! (not in missing order. haha~)

My Bloody Valentine

After a long, long time finally managed to catch a movie with the Love. Initially, we were planning to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, but the timing was so odd, and I had tuition to go to in the evening anyway. Eventually, we settled on My Bloody Valentine - 3D. He was excited with the fact that it was 3D! And I thought they were going to give us those cheapo 3D glasses i.e. those paper ones, wear and throw away kind. It has been a while since we enjoyed the student discounts when watching a movie, and when we were paying for it, the bill came up to $26 for two tickets! Oh my! I didn't know that 3D movies cost a whole lot more, and there were no student discount! Boo!
Anyhow, I think it was worth the money! It felt super creepy when the bullet was 'flying' towards me. Haha! Personally, I think the storyline was pretty interesting. Both me and him guessed wrongly, because we made our guesses based on our past experiences with such movies. It somehow made such a mental illness, easier to understand. Even though I've learnt about it in two modules already. Nice. Not forgettting that there was so much blood and gore! Woo hoo! Even though I did cringed at some parts. Haha!

And he got lost on his way back from sending me to tuition. Haha!

Sway

But anyway, I had fun! Got to go out with Miss A, for a 'date'. Haha! Really enjoyed her company. Looking forward to the Tigal Abduls session on Thursday ya! *winkx* We should go out more often. =) Thanks babe for the time and the company. More to come I hope. Hee~

What lies ahead...

Too many things have been going on lately. Been messy, messy, messy.

With him being away....Essays and project deadlines looming over my head...Society's events to think of....Managing my time well....Gosh......

It's not easy. And I admire those who have gone through it together, as one. Insya'allah the two of us can get through it too. It'll soon be over but the future that lies ahead of us is unknown. We'll go through with the flow, live our lives as it is, and only hope and pray that it'll end up the way we want it to. Whatever it is, I'll be here for you and will stick by you. I'll be good, waiting for you. You're being missed so, so much.

Will soon be stepping into another stage of my life. Am I ready for the challenges? Will I be up to it?

the crazy moments with you.....

The one who is willing to layan my nonsense.
The one whose nonsense I'll willingly layan.

I miss the crazy moments with you, Akhim. Do take good care of urself wherever you are, alright?
Make sure you come home safe and sound. I've been a good girl, awaiting your return. I miss you.....

Mixture of emotions

I should learn to understand myself better. As much as I tried, I still can't understand why I feel a certain way towards certain things. What on earth is wrong with me? Am i being selfish? I wonder...

I feel empty inside. It has just been one night. I kept imagining my phone ringing to the tune of "I Live My Life For You". I kept checking my phone to see that it didn't die on me. Only to remember that hey, he will be away for 6 days. Bestie said that we behaved and sounded like couples who just got together. Heh~

It's the 5th week of semester already. I'd better be pulling my socks up. Last sem, last sem. I must graduate with pleasant looking grades and CAP. If I could do it in the previous sem, I'm sure I can do it too this time round. Go Mardiana Go!